i forget to blog when life goes so good!

oh my goodness! soooo many things have happened that I wanna write about, but where to start? i'll start with a few tuesdays ago at institute. BEST lesson! we learned about being true disciples of Christ. we learned about nourishing your spirit and testimony daily which will ultimately help you come to know your Heavenly Father and his Son, as well as increase your knowledge of the gospel, increase your testimony, and have a better time overcoming temptation. it was great! 

just a few days after that, i was asked out by the boy ive had my eye on for months now. anddddd he made me his girlfriend. he made it official at the strawberry days fair. cute, huh? :) so yup, i have a boyfriend. craaaaazy for me, i know. i havent had a boyfriend since last DECEMBER!! what can i say? im really picky and i need someone who keeps me on my toes. jake definitely does the job. he's to die. he's from australia, my age, and has an accent that makes me melt ;) haha on a more serious side, this kid makes me feel on top of the world. he keeps me young. i often times forget that im only 19 years old. im still just a baby girl! he's helped me to not worry about so many things and be a little more carefree and less serious. we have some of the best talks. we help each other be our best selves. he's in my ward so that's how we met. we talk church stuff all the time. he has such a great, inspiring story to tell and he has such a neat and strong testimony. he's obsesssssssed with learning foreign languages. half of the time he's speaking spanish and half of the time its cuuute. the other half requires a few threats from me. haha. such as he can only sit up front in my car if he speaks english the whole time. anyways! he's a great guy. i wouldnt be with him if i didnt think we deserved each other. everyone says that we're a little random and they would've never thought, but that's the beauty of it. we're both sooo different, but alike in ways too. we create a great balance, and all in all, OPPOSITES ATTRACT! ;) you da bess jacob <3

i was in vegas this whole past week visiting family and friends. suuuuch a fun trip. i got to lay out by the pool with my best friend kelly all day. at night we went to dinner and shopping and i got to take a fun pic with my dream car a land rover ;) which was SO nice. i went shopping with my momma. out to dinner a whole lot. then my last night there, i went over to my best friend destiny's to see her and hang out with her and chloe! she's getting married so we had to get some wedding and party plans together! it's so exciting! im so happy for her. she's gonna be the most beeeautiful bride!

i hurried back from vegas to be in class at 8am saturday morning! gave my persuasive speech on the benefits of reconstructive surgery to those affected with disfiguring birth defects. i taught sunday school on sunday on loving one another which was fabbbulous! i love teaching so much :) i met jake's parents on sunday too. they're dolls :) 

yesterday (monday) we went to seven peaks. it was sooooo crowded! but fun & hot hot hot! after seven peaks, we had FHE at bishops house which was way fun. jacob surprised me after fhe! he was gone sunday after church and after he came over and surprised me AGAIN and said he wouldnt be back til tuesday but he actually got back last night so i got to see him. i looove his surprise visits. that's what i mean when i say he keeps me on my toesies! after all that, a group of us from the apartment went and then played capture the flag and let me tell you that i captured the flag!!!! we were tied after 2 games so game 3 was the tiebreaker in which i captured the flag for us. that was a fun moment :) that's why i tell people, never underestimate me! ;) hehe

today will be great also. got institute tonight! weeee! and i think my mom comes back to utah this week. yay yay yay! life is great! God is great! loves!! xoxoxoxo

Venting is different than complaining.

Where do I begin? This has been the weirdest last few days in awhile. I was getting ready today thinking, why do I feel let down here? Is it just me or is it because of him? Can someone be a "let down"? Or is it just another's perception? I say to you, yes. Meaning it goes both ways. Someone can definitely be a let down, or you can decide for yourself whether you'll let them be. I'm gonna go with the first one, but down the road, I hope to switch to the second one. I want to get to a point where I don't care when I shouldn't. My problem? I certainly DO care, too much. I'm just that kind of person and it's natural for me to care about anything and everything. But during certain circumstances, I wish I was more passive and numb to it. I feel like being that way wouldn't leave any room for people to let me down. Going along with this, I'm a firm believer in being happy on your own. I feel like one must be stable, independent, and happy on their own before they can let someone into their lives that might change that. How easy is it for someone to make you feel bad, low, or insecure? SO. I feel like I'm constantly striving to be that girl that doesn't depend on anyone else for MY happiness. My attitude, feelings, and emotions are MY responsibility. 

Obviously, I'm boy bitter right now. Why am I putting in more effort than they are? Is that wrong? I think so. I believe in balance and equality. I don't think anyone is better than the next. Why do I put up with so much when I know I deserve better? I'll tell you. Because every girl, including myself feels like they can help or fix a boy... or at least has a burning desire to do so. Sometimes I feel like it's my responsibility to help some of the guys get back on track with their lives, and it partly is. However, when it interferes with my life and my well-being and my confidence, it's gone too far. I need to be there for them, but not get sucked into their ways. This topic brings me to the next question/concern...

What am I doing to attract these kind of guys? I'm also a firm believer that you attract your equal -- you get what you give. I feel bad when I think, I must be doing something to attract the crowd that I am. But, I know that's not entirely true, and I shouldn't think like that. However, it's hard not to. I've been in this place before where I've felt alone and low, and I wrote myself a journal entry. It read, 
"I've become this really insecure and dependent girl. I'm pushing my family away, the ones i love the most. I'm allowing people to depict my feelings and moods. From this day on, I'm going to stand a little taller, I'm going to drive myself harder, I'm gonna be the strong-willed and confident girl that I used to be. I'm gonna be genuinely happy with myself. I'm not gonna depend on others for my happiness. I'm gonna grow closer to the Lord and share my burdens with Him. I'm gonna grow more spiritual and down to earth. I'm gonna surround myself with people that bring out the best in me and don't put me down. I'm gonna love someone and take a risk of getting very hurt. I'm gonna be the smart, intelligent student that I've been. I'm taking on the old me as of now." -written August 9th, 2009 @ 3:13am

I WILL get back to that strong-willed, confident young woman I used to be. I need to be completely happy on my own before I can seriously let someone into my life. I know that everything around me is happening for a reason and the Lord's way of showing His approval or disapproval, but that doesn't make it easy -- not like I expect anything to be easy entirely, but you know what I mean. I'm ready to do me and get to being the Brooke Christine Baxter I'm meant to be. 

PS) I have the greatest girlfriends in the world.

BIG thank you to Kelly Sunbury & Meghan Bodily :)

Love you girls!

Lyrics to one of my very favorite songs:

Stephanie Smith

"Better Off Alone"

I used to find myself attracted to the boys with broken wings.

They kept me grounded and distracted from the wounded parts of me

And still I swore he would be different, although his story read the same.

With a little fixing, he'd be perfect, yeah, but once again, I stand corrected.

I should've known better 'cause it only feels worse each time. 
And I'd better surrender this search. 

'Cause I know until someone finds me and inspires me to be better, 
Well, I'm better off alone.

And when the right one comes, how will I tell that it's not just some disguise?

Well, I'll see a stronger version of myself reflected in his eyes.

And looking back now I can say, that I've never been quite sure

about that love that I told myself was real. Oh and each invitation that I settled for.


I should've known better 'cause it only feels worse each time.
And I'd better better this search.
'Cause I know until someone finds me and inspires me to be better,
Well, I'm better off alone.

Why did you KISS me?!

probably one of the most darling vids out there right now. boys will be boys!

yay for seven peaks today! i went with my 3 favorite people. my baby sister, rashad frank nijim, and landon macray winn. weeeeeeeee! it was super fun, but i got sunburnt :( i hate having such fair skin!

after seven peaks we all went to eat at costco. delish! and i had institute at 7 but i wasnt sure if i was gonna go because i would not have had enough time to shower and get ready without being late. but something told me that i HAD to go tonight. i just couldnt miss it. i washed my face real quick, curled my air-dried chlorine-filled hair, and threw on my fave cheetah fedora hat and was off! my baby sister joined me,. that was fun & special :)

there was a definite reason i felt like i couldnt miss class tonight. the lesson was amazing. the Spirit was so strong, and i got an answer finally that i've been praying for within the lesson. the first part talked about disciples of Christ and that attributes associated. the ones that stuck out to me were: 1) learning of Him and His life and following His ways, 2) service, and 3) disciplined. the second part of the lesson talked about getting to truly know Christ. i learned that we can truly get to know Him when we are diligent in doing so. we learn of the gospel and His teachings little by little and at times when those specific lessons are meant to be learned and appreciated. i learned that i can come to know and love my Savior by doing the basics everyday whether it be big or small. whether i read a verse of my scriptures, or a chapter, it all counts. like the scriptures say, "by small and simple things, great things come to pass". that verse couldnt be anymore true. i want to come to know my Savior conhacer, not saber. ;)

today was especially special spending the day with my little sister. even though, she's not so little. homegirl is 16 years old and how surreal it is seeing her drive all on her own, especially in utah! i mean, this girl comes & picks ME up for stuff. i'm loving it. my little sister has always been the peacemaker in our family and thats something i really admire about her. though she can't be pushed around, she will bend over backwards to do things for other people. i love that about her also. she's a strong-willed young lady and i'm hoping the more i hang out with her, the more her strength will rub off on me. Bri has a smile & laugh that lights up any room and a personality that makes those around her happy and comfortable. i love you weez. thanks for being such a good example to me and our family.

in closing, i just want to mention a certain somebody. we've talked on the phone just about every night and text here & there throughout the day. anyways, this kid is a sweetheart. down to earth, smart, worthy, and super cute. our conversations follow me throughout the day because of how uplifting and exciting they are. im looking forward to where this one goes.


here's a video that i absolutely looooooove... it will touch you, i promise.

xoxox, brooke

sensitive monday.

so i was planning on going to seven peaks with friends today but the weather is moody! its cloudy & windy/breezy. NOT a good look for swimming, so i went to the gym instead.

this workout? decent. didnt have a whole lot of energy and my body is a bit achey but i pushed through and treated myself to a rice bowl at rumbi grille afterwards :) SO good.

I REEEEEALLLLLYYYY WANNA GO HIKE THE Y! if anyone's down, please holla atcha girl.

i'm gonna start reading this book called, "the energy bus". my family raves about it, so i'll keep all you fine people in the loop with that one. i also need to read "hunger games". i started it last year and never finished it. i haaave the finish it before the movie comes out.

OH and you all should know that i got a 9.5 out of 10 on my informative speech that i presented for my public speaking class -- in which i mentioned in my last blog post. that was exciting news :) and one of my classmates even messaged me on engrade.com telling me that my speech was awesome. it's reassuring to know that hard works pays off and sticks with people. just another one of life's special gifts.

yesterday (sunday) was a special day for me. church was great as always and my friend came who hasn't been there in awhile and we had so much fun. she's a doll and such a sweet spirit. someone came over sunday afternoon and we sat on my bed and read one of my church books. it was such a special time and sweet experience. i'll treasure that time we were able to share and grow together. church wise, the sacrament talks were great, sunday school was great, and the relief society lesson was great. we talked about missionary work -- one of my fave topics! because low and behold, i'm a convert along with my entire family. 

growing up in summerlin, a community within the las vegas valley, my family and i were surrounded by many members of the LDS church. obviously, LDS kids were my friends growing up as well as friends to my other two sisters and my parents. my family has always been extremely close and tight-knit. However, there was something missing...

anyways, i spent a lot of time with a particular family in my neighborhood, the alger's -- a family that lived only 2-3 houses down from us. they were adamant about holding family home evenings every monday night and took the missionaries out to dinner all the time. of course i was involved in these activities because i was over at their house quite a bit and hung out with this family just about every day. i was apart of their family home evening activities and i was always invited along to dinners with the missionaries. ultimately, one of the missionaries challenged my friend, whitney alger, to give me a book of mormon, in which she did. and from then i would bring it to school and read it during my 7th grade reading class "read & journal time. i got a few weird looks, especially from my teacher, but i couldnt has been more proud to be reading that particular book. 

i had been to the LDS church several times, i attended achievement days, and church activities and programs, and ultimately, i wanted people to know and think that i was mormon too. and that's when i made my mom take me to deseret book to get me CTR rings ;) haha good times. 

anyways, i became so serious about joining the church that i went out on a limb and asked my mom about it. it was a friday night, and my family had gone to dinner at the palms hotel & casino in vegas. my mom & i had gotten up to go to the bathroom and on our walk there i turned to her and said "mom, i want to be mormon and i talked to whitney and she said that her dad could baptize me. but i dont want him to because i want my dad to." my mom was a little surprised, but not opposed to the crazy statement i had just presented. she said, "brooke, mormonism isnt just a religion, it's a lifestyle. but i think it's cool and a good idea, and i'll definitely talk to your dad about it and we'll go from there." she talked to my dad that night, and he was a bit surprised as well, but not opposed either. 

the next night, all of us neighborhood kids were playing outside, including the alger's. and coincidentally ( though not at all ;) ) whitney's mom had asked my parents if were wanted to go to church with them on sunday. long story short, they accepted and we went the next day. that was a great day for me. i had been to church with the alger family plenty of times, but it was so special that my very own family was there too sitting in the same pew as me :) 

following church we had gone to breakfast and talked about it. my dad had us go around the table and tell what we thought about having had gone. i was sitting in my seat just hoping that they all loved it, and they did. my older sister said "i thought it was great. i felt something there that i've never felt before." i'll never forget those words from her.

it was within days that the missionaries were sent to us. fabulous missionaries. elect missionaries. the missionaries meant for us. we took the lessons and listened to the discussions. we asked questions, we were taught how to pray and did so at our meetings. just weeks later, my family, as a whole decided to be baptized. my mom and dad were baptized the first week of november 2002, and my sisters and i were baptized the following week, BY MY DAD. it was exactly what i wanted and more. i was baptized by my father and joined by my whole family. a year later, we were sealed as a family for time and all eternity in the las vegas temple. as mentioned before, my family's always been close, but we were ultimately missing the Spirit in our lives and in our home.

what are we all up to now? well my dad has served in many callings including young mens, high priest, emergency preparedness, and others. my mom has served in the young women's program, primary teacher, as a ward missionary, and now in the nursery program. my older sister brittany has attained a temple marriage to her husband trevor. my younger sister is in young women's now and has served in presidency's with the program. and as for me? i served in young women's presidency's back when and now i'm greatly involved in my single's ward in utah, having served on the family home evening committee, and now teaching sunday school -gospel doctrine, and aspiring to meet a worthy young man who honors his priesthood, sweeps me off my feet, and takes me to the temple to be sealed to him and my future family forever.

it's crazy to think how simple things turn into great ones... i'm grateful for the experiences the gospel has brought to my life. it's not always easy, but that's part of the plan. i know the Lord watches me and loves me and wants me to share my blessings with those i come across. i know i have a specific mission on this earth and not a day goes by that i don't feel a sense of purpose. i'm trying my very best to make conscious and good decisions that will enrich my life now and in the future. i'm extremely grateful for the ward i've been blessed with, for a loving bishop and his wife who have become my parents away from home. for a bishopric who loves us and takes time out of their lives and their families to get to know us young people and to teach and prepare us for our future. i'm grateful for a family who's always 110% supportive. i'm grateful for my roommates and friends both in UT and LV who have brought strength, light, and joy to my life. i watch them everyday and aspire to gain some of the same traits they possess. i'm grateful for church leaders and for the prophets and apostles who lead and guide us in the church today. their counsel is divine and they truly know what we need to hear. i'm grateful for missionary work and its ability to bring light and purpose to people's lives. i'm grateful for education and it's something that i pray i'll never take for granted. i'm most grateful for my loving Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. i'm grateful for the love, hope, and comfort i get from learning of them and having faith that everything will be okay and work out according to their will. i'm grateful for the atonement and my knowledge of how real it is. i love this gospel and the joy it brings to my life. i'm so lucky and grateful that it was brought to my life at such a young age, blessing me and my family.

happy monday :)

xoxoxo, brooke

PS) “Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine.” –Gordon B. Hinckley

I'm still alive... Hard to believe, I know!

Ahh! I haven't blogged in forever... MY apologies. Life just gets so crazy sometimes! You know? With school, work, the gym, being out of town, church, friends, family. CHAOS. Lovely chaos, though ;) I'm so blessed.

Anyways, I had a presentation today in my Public Speaking class. I had to give an informative speech, and I did it on visual merchandising. It was way fun & I think I did very well, so I'm excited to see :) I also looooved the outfit I wore. We have to dress professional. So of cooourse I reach for one of my hundred blazers hanging behind my bedroom door making it impossible to stay open on its' own. 
Here's a pic of my look :)

What do you think?!

Breakdown:

Light Pink Blazer: Audrey 3+1

Black Jeans: Jessica Simpson

Light Pink Flower Necklace: Maddux Couture Boutique

Black bodysuit: Forever 21

Belt: Maddux Couture Boutique

Ring: Pier 1

...Onto the next!

10 Things that have been on my mind lately...

1) Wishing I was in Cali with my best friend, Kelly. Just another month! Can't wait.

2) Life's tender mercies. Everything always happens for a reason. Don't forget it!

3) My best friends in Utah. Boy, we have sooo much fun.

4) Seven Peaks Water Park being my latest obsession.

5) My darling new swimsuit :) I'll post a pic at a later date

6) The GYM! I've been going just about every day & I feel so good! Even though the Pump class kicked and ran over my butt twice. Followed by Cardio Hip Hop. Oh well, up & at 'em, right?! PS) Zumba is the best! Try it ;)

7) Red Vines. I should probably get over this one real quick.

8) My blessings. I've been taking time just about every day to count them.

9) Wishing I had a hot tottie tan.

10) I can't believe I'm saying this, cause it's so unlike me, and I'm really private. BUT lately, a very cute boy has been on my mind. This kid makes me feel 12 years old all over again. Excited to see where this one goes! ♥

Pics as of lately:

Red Vine lovin'.

My Utah sanity ;) One of the best friends out there.

Flowers from my sweet sister, Britt :) Best surprise ever... I love flowers!

My prince putting on the glass slippers! ...or gym shoes? Whatev's!

Seven Peaks!!

Yes, this is as real as it looks. SPARE ME KID!

So I love Lady's Gaga's new CD. Well, most of it. And i just love her too. She's so cool & her voice, both talking & singing is so unbelievable! My fave songs are "Marry the Night", "You & I", and my absolute fave is "Edge of Glory". When that song comes on, I go CRAZYYYY! I feel like I've been on the "Edge of Glory" a lot lately, and I'm looooving it!

Some of my other favorite songs right now are:

"Marry Me" -Train ... *Gets me everytime! It's sooo sweet!

"Lose Control" -Keri Hilson *Shake, wind, & roll ;) Owww!

"Who Says?" -Selena Gomez *I approve of Bieb's girlfriend!

"Dirty Dancer" -Enrique Iglesias *Zumba made me love this song.

"Look At Me Now" -Chris Brown *Fun fun fun beat!

Also, that movie, "Just Go With It" is so good & so funny!! Check it outttttie.

QUOTES!

After awhile, you learn the subtle difference between holding somebody's hand and chaining their soul. You learn that love doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and gifts aren't promises. You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open with maturity, not weakness. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. -Unknown.

Be yourself and love who you are and be proud, because you were born this way. 

-Lady Gaga

My mind forgets to remind me that you're a bad idea. 

-Taylor Swift

Anything less than "I love you" is lying. 

-John Mayer

So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that’ll fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often. -Unknown

THAT'S ALL FOLKS! 

HAVE A LOVELY WEEKEND 

& UPCOMING WEEK! ;)